Upon Further Inspection...

It appears I have even more hair on my body than I previously thought. In addition to the hair I have on my chest and shoulders (I need to get waxed, pronto), I noticed for the first time that there's hair on my toes. Its not gross or anything, but delicate strands of burnt orange sprouting from my pod digits. I don't get why DNA has to be so cruel. I just want hair on my head and for it to be red and not to leave. I'll be the first person in the world to have gotten hair transplants from my toes to my head. I feel like a circus freak...