Laguna Beach, Guitar Hero, and the Day I was in an Earthquake with an Olsen Twin.

Well, I know everyone wants to hear about the latter part of the title to this post, but be patient. First thing's first. This weekend I drove down to lovely (and very spacious) Laguna Beach where I met Adam and Co. for a little beach time and fun in the sun. It was my first foray into the O.C. and I must say...it's a lot like Plano, TX with a beach...and pretty people. It's all good. I found out Adam likes, um, big girls, that I'm the only male in California with chest hair, and that I can catch a frisbee but am still unable to throw one. Not pretty. I just went down for the day as I had to be at work early Monday morning, but Adam is coming this weekend to LA to see a Dodgers Game, see a show at the Hollywood Bowl (Yay! I get to go! Finally!!), and rock LA. 

Speaking of rocking, I've finally been sucked into Guitar Hero. After watching Gentz and Amy and every other SW person own this year, I've finally stepped up to the plate and learned how to play the guitar....hero. I'm rhythmically challenged, but I'm addicted. When I'm bored, I go to the Best Buy down the street and play their demo. I feel like a homeless person with a home, yet sans video game system. I'm not proud. 

And lastly, today I had just returned from an emergency Blockbuster run and Office Depot errand to my desk at work. I was working on a small project when the suspended lights from the ceiling started to sway and the room, yes, started to shake, beginning the 10 or so seconds of my first ever Earthquake experience. There were a  couple screams and shouts around the office, yet when the shaking stopped, there was a nice calm for about 20 seconds. I stepped away from my desk and to the middle of the office where everyone in my company had gathered, including, yes, an Olsen twin. She was very nice and down-to-earth, but a little shaken up (as we all were) by the rattling. Everyone was talking about what to do in case of an earthquake, but when the commotion came to a hault, everyone went back to what they were doing. No one even thought of going home. Gotta love California. This has been the most crazy summer.

But yes, that was when I was in an earthquake with an Olsen twin. I can no longer explain the things that happen in my life. 

To My Father...

My second favorite person in the entire world- whom I always long to call on the telephone- provided Adam isn't picking up. My dad always likes when I mention him in my blog, so here you go big guy. What a fine example you set for me- such great traits I inherit such as, but not limited to the following: 

1) An adeptness at making jokes involving a penis, vagina and/or mammories. Truly a gift. "I'll have the black cod...k" 

2) Wearing out peoples' flaws so that they actually think that you hate them...when you actually like them.  

3) The rubbery, disapproving face, perfect for letting someone know that you, um, disapprove. 

4) A high-pitched squeal voice- leading to a never-ending chorus at my mother's family's dinners when my cousins chant "Do Bob! Do Bob!" "JEEEEEAAANEEETTTTTEEEEEE!!! Can you feel my foreheaaad!?"

5) A weird, sarcastic cadence that has a meter all it's own and can make any innocuous line of English seem stupid.

6) His jumpshot. OK, so he's not all bad...

7) ...And conversely, the ability to do little else at a high level on a basketball court.

8)  Skinny, girl legs which make me look 80, rather than 21.

9) Dominance at video games. Oh, wait, I didn't inherit this. I'm more of a pioneer in my family in this field...

10) And lastly, where would I be in terms of girls if I had another father? Oh, you know what...don't answer that...we are talking about a man who calls me so many times a day that he actually has interrupted some, um, intimate moments in the past few years...yeah, I wouldn't give him your cell number if I were you, especially if you're a 20 year-old interested in losing your virginity.

 

Of course, I'm kidding around. I love my father and would continue to hold him in high regard, despite what the pending paternity tests might reveal. Miss you, big guy!

Been Here, Done This

OK, if you haven't guessed by now, I'm very ready to go back to school. VERY READY. The lovely and talented Jeanette Mann likes to say that I have an expiration date on places (and people). While I wouldn't say my time has run sour, I wouldn't say it's the freshest it's been. I think sans friends, I've used up about as much excitement on California (at least for now) as I could muster for the summer. I need football games and late night Big Ten Burrito runs and IM sports and Southwest parties and other things. There's only so much playing basketball, going to the gym, and watching (and, indirectly making) movies that I can do. Time to go. Time to re-new the expiration date. My guess is that I'm good on school till Thanksgiving Break (or shortly before, as has been the pattern the previous 3 years of going to college). I'll even take over if someone wants to bet me under. 

Alas, things get somewhat refreshed when Adam Bennett comes strolling into town. I've been promised "heat" (and I don't mean from the sun) and beaches and guys freaking out on a basketball court. Sounds like a plan. 

Also, the lovely Kristen Henkels comes to town at the beginning of August for a few weeks, which could provide a nice distraction for a couple weekends. 

I'm gonna go to sleep now. Wake me when It's August 29th. Thanks.

PS Why didn't I think of THIS!?

New in the life of Alex.

Um, that is to say, there's nothing new. Went to Santa Monica Pier with THE Michael Chang and friends tonight for some salsa dancing. It was alright, it was just too crowded to get my salsa groove on...Got "fake" ice cream (yogurt) afterwards on a waffle and went home. 

Played basketball yesterday on the same court as NBA first round draft pick Kevin Love. The guy's huge, although he doesn't look terribly athletic. I wonder how he'll fit into the NBA- my guess is a shorter Mehmet Okur. My dad asked me if I played extra hard so as to get his attention (and approval). The answer is 'no.' The only time I've ever tried to show off to a celeb was Mark Cuban (Mavs owner) at Primer Club in Dallas. Anytime he'd walk by along the edge of the court, I'd high tail in into Kobe mode, between the legs, reverse layup in hopes of getting him to say "Call Donnie...we need this kid."   

Also, I've become interested in the show "Greek." I'm not sure why, it's pretty much a soap opera set at college. I think it's because I like to look into the life so many other students have, but I chose not. I think I've discovered I'm jealous because of the fun the have....sometimes I think had I come to Michigan as a freshman, I would have (or should have) looked harder at fraternity life and tried to chose one that wasn't crazy. Although, I think about it, and my stomach still turns, so I'm not too broken up by it. 

July 4th/ Halfway Done with LA

The 4th of July holiday marks the midpoint of my LA experience. It's been 6 long weeks (actually, a little more) since I left my parents house in Nebraska and I have 6 weeks before I return and mercifully leave shortly thereafter. Why mercifully? BORING!!!! I like the part where she does a video of my parents' remodeled bathroom. Wow.

Anyway, my Independence Day was good. My aunt came in from Dallas to mull around West LA with me. We had dinner at a house of friends of hers on the 4th which happened to be Friday night, which is Shabbat night in the Jewish world-they were a gay couple (two of the nicest people) which made me think... I don't think I've ever had a Californian gay Kosher 4th of July Shabbat dinner. It turned out well. I guess there's a first time for everything. One of the other guests at the dinner both knew my boss at work AND grew up in Dallas and had the same high school English teacher that I did. And, unbeknownst to my aunt, her first EVER date was also a guest. Wild and crazy stuff. 

After dinner, everyone trekked a few blocks straight up the Studio City mountainside to Mulholland Drive (on top of the Hollywood Hills) to watch fire works...

 Although, that I've done before. (7/04/05)

Other highlights of the trip included dinner at the world-famous Spago (Wolfgang Puck) which was really great (I know it's cliche, but shut up), cupcakes from Crumbs which kicks the fucking hell out of Sprinkles (strange but true), a pair of new Converse tennis shoes compliments of Aunt Saundra, saw Dyan Cannon in Neiman Marcus in Beverly Hills, and the crown jewel of the trip, dinner at Itzaka-ya by Katsu-ya on Third (in my old WeHo hood). If you like Japanese food/ sushi, please go. It's the non-sexual erection of Japenese dining, I kid you not. 

In other news, I've become terribly homesick. I facebook stalk my friends (and only my friends, thank you) and watch old Michigan football highlights on YouTube when I feel this way. I can't wait for football season. I have a feeling we're not going to suck as bad as EVERYONE thinks we will. We should still have some tricks up our sleeves. I'm def coming to the Rose Bowl next year if they make it! 

LA is fine, but I miss 314 Cambridge House, playing Paintrain football, and Amy's gross feet (or at least making fun of her feet which I pretend are gross at her expense). I know I'll be sick of it two days in (with all the college kids, who can blame me!?), but I really miss it right now. 

 Finally, after years of bother, my parents have officially withdrawn from finding me a future mate. My father has graciously stepped aside from embarrassing me every time we leave his home together. Free at last! The real winners here? The fine women of Omaha, who no longer have to awkwardly slide out of an embarrasing conversation with my dad, feigning interest in his son while my dad goes into "Look at me" mode. I stand corrected, this is the highlight of my holiday weekend.

PS I've watched the "Old Gregg" video that everybody seems to be up in arms about and I hate it. Hate it. Hate it. Hate it. Am I missing something here???

I Still Feel 14 Years-Old...

Really. I still feel like I'm a teenager. A young teenager at that. I mean, sure you can point to some of my experiences that seem adult which include: writing for professional publications, moving (temporarily) to new cities on my own, traveling Europe occasionally by myself, a somewhat adult long distance relationship. But still. I get pimples, I have a limited idea of how the stock market works, I'm hazy on how to fix a flat tire/ I can't parallel/ I'm a mediocre driver, STILL socially awkward (but I have improved..), and don't get me started on the numerous ways I'm still 14 as it relates to females (I'm talking about everything from kissing to merely making small talk). I'm basically the long lost Big Bang Theory character- minus the rocket science brilliance. I know this is a weird thing to admit to the world, but I can't wait for the day that I at least feel a little older inside. Like, 16 or something. 

What brings this up? Nothing really. It's just strange to see people you know getting married, having real jobs, and reproducing. Take out having a real job (which I will have next year this time) it often seems I'm pretty far behind my contemporaries. My dad calls me "slow." I prefer to think of myself as developmentally challenged....OK, fine, I'm slow. Which is weird to me, because growing up, I was lauded for being a mature kid. Now I'm behind. I wonder where the time was where I was right at the intersection of the two...

I had a day off from work today and started to write a short I'm planning for the Fall. It ended up straying REALLY far from my original concept....And sadly, it takes much of its inspiration from my own life- which I usually don't like for young writers to do. It's based on my father's "Vegas proposal." It's my first real attempt at comedy, so if you ever read it, please be kind. I think it's good though and a strong story.  Deals loosely on some of the themes above.  

And lastly, I just want to apologize to Sarah W. Gray, who has been the focus of some cyber jokes recently. Just to clarify, Sarah is not a porn addict, per say. She just really likes reality television and there just happens to be a popular show that deals with Heff and his buxom blonde, um, lady friends...Sarah's pretty cute and a Southern blonde, maybe she's trying out for a place in The Mansion...although I don't care how great the Grotto is, that rumored Tuesday "ritual" would be enough for me to stay the HELL AWAY. To each Bunny's own. Anyway, the fact that Sarah watches The Girls Next Door in class does not make her a porn freak...

That Stuff magazine I saw in her purse is another story... 

(I miss you Sarah!)

The Dog Days of Summer

Sorry about not posting everyone. OK, sorry for not posting...Dad. Truth be told, despite the exciting time in my life, there isn't a whole lot for me to be posting about. I go to work, make phone calls, come home, heat up a Lean Cuisine (do you think I miss being a food journalist!?), and go to the gym...and start over. Sure there is some variation. I got to make a foray into Bel Air for the first time since my...um... senior in high school days. Pretty much the way I remembered it- although I'm pretty sure you could feel the car shake climbing the mountain, fearing the wrath of a certain individual who lives on Roscomare but will go nameless. I had to do an errand at my boss' house, which is, in the words of Borat, "Uh, very niiice." I can't wait to own a gorgeous home. Jeanette, when you read this, you're doing the interior design work of my architectural masterpiece of an abode when I grow up....I just like your style and you know you guys have the Midas touch of resale value. 

In other news, I saw the Get Smart movie, which wasn't that good. But I did find out that my home run swing, Anne Hathaway, recently broke up with her crooked Italian bf. Still alive, baby! I can see little Alex Hathaway-Mann now. What a happy child. 

Also saw 27 Dresses. I actually liked it a lot more than I thought I would, especially when some people openly panned it...COUGHAmyCOUGH. It's striking to me how much Catherine Heigl looks like Diane Lane. I can't tell if that means she's insanely hot (as Diane Lane was) or looks insane old (which Diane Lane is) for what she is. Oh, well, I'd take her all the same. 

 MMMMyeah. That's about it. Still no luck at the beach. Haven't worked up the courage to go talking to almost naked girls at this stage of my life. I hope this changes at some point. 

Also, haven't seen any celebrities. Although, Sarah W. Gray would appreciate knowing that I nearly got to speak with Demi Moore momentarily on the phone the other day. When I catch a starlet, I'll tell you...particularly if they reside at the Playboy Mansion, which Ms. Gray has an odd fascination with....?