Thoughts from 4/30

I had my bi-annual tea time with my mom today. I typically don't like tea. I really only like it when its a super sweet version (like the carmel flavor tea I had) with milk and tons of sugar in it. I also decided to forgo the dopey finger sandwiches filled with cucumber and salmon with the crust cut off, electing instead to indulge in scones (pronounced sk-ons over here in Jolly Ole'). And really, I don't like scones...they're merely a vessel to enjoy clotted cream (sweet buttery substance) and jam, kind of like how a meat lover only eats salad for the dressing. So, I guess what I'm trying to say is that I really don't like tea time, I just like the sugar that comes along with it. I should just save everyone the trouble and down sugar packets. Oh, but tea time is so snooty- I do love it.

Speaking of dopey English things (of which there are many), you would not believe how depressing English television can get. I mean, I don't watch very much TV while I'm here and when I do, all I really watch is old Everybody Loves Raymond episodes (which are terribly underrated), but the commercials here are shockingly sad though. I can't tell you how many TV spots I've seen with upsetting instrumental music featuring deaf-dumb and blind kids in slow motion in B&W looking into the camera crying as an announcer asks for you to "Please help the children." They're so over the top that I half expect the advertisement to abruptly stop and say, "Just kidding. Who LOOOOVES TWINS!? Go Budweiser!" Who knew I'd miss those Wilfred Brimley "Diabeetus" commercials so much...sheesh

For all of your soccer fans there in the States, I'll just let you know that Chelsea defeated Liverpool in extra time (aka overtime) to advance to the European Championship to face Man United. It was a good game and I was thrilled because finally a team wearing blue looked good!(...f'ing Mavericks).

PS I am officially throwing my hat into the ring for Mavs head coach. I have no prior experience other than to say my IM team that I "coached" went 0-4. But it'll be different with the Mavs because they have no girls...other than Jason Kidd of course.  

PPS I fully realized that this is the second straight posted I've finished by insulting a grown man by calling him a girl. I want my readers to know that I respect women as equals...outside the basketball court and faux sporting arenas via gaming consoles. 

The Characters You See in Europe and Do Girls Really Play Video Games?

Not much to report from the day. Got up late and decided to take a run through Kensington Gardens. I think I've gained 20 pounds since coming to Europe. I need to go on that the Noutra System thing and appear in a commercial with Jillian Barberie (wink). Speaking of those commercials, doesn't it look like the people they get to push the diet are STILL fat? I'm sorry, but if being "in the game" is to look like Mike Golic or Jon Kruk, then I'll just stay on the bench. Hell, I'd rather look like friggin' Don Shula (who also endorses the diet) then those two hippos.  

One of the great things about spending time in Europe is the characters you get to see. I mean, if I just walk down the street to Portobello Road, I can see everything from dread-locked Rastafarians to bums dressed liked Michael Jackson in the weird royalty uniform thingy, to toothless scots with a taste for rare terrier breeds.

 I was in Hermes in Paris (aka rich woman Disney Land) and in walks THE gayest guy I've EVER seen. I don't mean that as a derogatory thing, merely descriptive. He was a 6 ft asian man who was so skinny that he looked hydrosaphalic (enormous head) even though he probably wasn't. He was dressed totally in black with a black jean jacket and hair styled to look like elvis. Jewels on every finger as he delighted in having the male Hermes salesmen neatly affix black&white scarves to his skronny neck as they told him he looked "tres chic." In short, he made Liberace look like John Daly. Description cannot do this man justice. My stepfather, a photographer, was stroking his camera like it was Mr. Bigglesworth, bemoaning the fact that he could not photograph the man because we were in the store.   

I keep purchasing hard core rap off i-tunes. I can't tell if it's because of the mood I'm in or if I'm trying to hip up to the world like a housewife trying to impress her kids. I downloaded "California Lovin'" by 2Pac in honor of my trip to California next week.

...alright, I just like the song. At least its not Brittney Spears, right?

I'm 21 and will soon be on my own in the world, but still really miss stuff like playing catch and dominating at video games. I always tell myself I'm going to outgrown a lot of this stuff, but I look at my father, who "practices" his gaming skills in anticipation of playing me and doubt it. I keep reading all about the NBA playoffs and want to personally see to it that the Mavs DO beat the Hornets and see to it myself that the Spurs face loss after loss. The only way to do this is through video games. And honestly, I can't wait. Someone's gotta set the Mavs right.  Lord knows Avery should be the one holding the controller and me the clipboard.

Speaking of video games, I keep having girls challenge me to video games. Amy plays guitar hero (better than I do!) Liza says she can beat me at Fifa (I don't doubt this). Other girls said they were good at N64. Other girls I've known had Playstations and the like. Did girls really play video games growing up? And if so, where the hell was I? A video-gaming playing girl would have been to me at 13 what buxom, plastic blondes are to Hugh Hefner. Hell, I'da lost my virginity in middle school if there were girls out there in the Dallas prep school scene honing their skillz on playstation.  Really, I need the answer to this. When did girls start playing video games? I feel like its only a matter of time a girl beats me at Madden. 

Check that, one already has. My dad's beaten me a few times. Oh Snap!

Back in London

Finished school, packed up my room (thanks, Liza!), said goodbye to friends, survived my grandmother, and came here. All in all, a swift end to the school year. 

I found out I'm still terrible at parallel parking, so, dad, I'm going to need you to teach me when I come back, thanks.

So, the flight over here wasn't so bad. I mean, I didn't get to sit next to a beautiful woman, but it wasn't a fat guy either. I got no work done on my screenplay, instead opting to sleep most of the flight (which, believe it or not, is a good thing).  

Yesterday, I got to London where my mom picked me up from Paddington Station. My parents then took me to lunch down the street from their flat to get a burger then I passed out from exhaustion. I woke up, ate dinner, then headed to the pub with my stepdad to watch the Liverpool-Chelsea Champions League game (England's answer to Celtics-Pistons). 

Woke up this morning, took a jog through Kensington Gardens and am here writing this. Please pray I get some work done today.

Academic Year 2007-2008: A Year in Review

Who knew that a school year that started off with me getting dumped within the first week would prove to be probably the best school year yet...although, if you really know me, I guess that's not saying a whole lot. 

But alas, it has been an eventful year. For starters, I found a home with Southwest after a solid semester looking for a group of cool people to hang out with. My parents call me the "Jew for Jesus," but whatever. 

Let's just list some major highlights (in no particular order):

1) Getting the nod in one game as the Paintrain's starting QB and leading the team to a 13-0 victory. Hail to the Victor!

2) Finally picking up the pretty expensive guitar I got last year and learning how to play things (I can now get my way through "All my loving" by the beatles...booyeah)

3) Befriending Renee, a friend of my evil ex, and having her see that Kate has turned wacky and that I'm not a creeper (not totally). 

4) Watching Aghogho puke at BTB...I think we've been through this (see last post).

5) Drawing a vulva on a napkin with strawberry sauce. Classy.

6) Having one of the most popular people I know call me one of his closest friends.

7) Meeting Liza

8) Seeing Boyd run around on roller skates in a dress at 1 in the morning with me telling Amy, "I'll never let you live this down."

9) The night Gentz and I made fun of Geoff, the undertaker.

10) My last day, which included...

The most distracting thing in the world while taking a final exam is having a Carmen Electra look-a-like sit in front of you, facing you, with a low cut top while you're trying to concentrate on the test. It's hard to think of anything to say on an Italian exam in these kinds of situations other than, "Vuoi uscire con me?" (Will you go out with me?) or "Posso tocare quelli?" (can I touch these?). If I get a bad grade, well, that's why. 

After I finished the exam, I headed back to West Quad and made plans to visit the arboretum with Gentz, Liza, and Amy et all. It was a beautiful day of playing catch, laughing at girls, and chitchatting in the sun. It was so relaxing and the perfect way to end the year. I learned Amy was a volunteer for her bell choir in high school, that Gentz was a dictator in high school, and that Liza...actually, I forget what Liza said that I didn't know about her. If Liza reads this post, she needs to fill me in again. Anyway, it was really great. If Aghogho barfing was the best night of my college career, then this was probably my best day...

If only I had worn sunscreen. I burn so badly.

As Promised...

Sorry loyal readers (my parents) for the lack of posting...it's been a busy week of stuff. Anyway, for those of you who don't know, Wednesday night was one of those unforgettable nights...the first time I think I've ever felt like a college kid and (gasp) liked it...

It all started when we won our broomball game.. the first win of the season, and it came in the playoffs no less (OK, the B playoffs, but it was still mighty solid). Here's a picture of the menacing broomball defense I play (I'm the big one in the blue shirt in the back):

Anywho, it is Southwest tradition to go to BTB (Big Ten Burrito for you non- Ann Arbor people) and grab a midnight snack. Gentz and I usually get quesadillas. Anyway, a few others joined us in this tradition, including one Aghogho Edevbie, who had to eat the restuarant's largest single item (this being the "Giant" chimmichanga, an enormous fried burrito, pictured below) per some kind of lost bet or promise (I'm not sure which) Anyway, he had to eat the WHOLE THING, right there.
Yeah, he had to eat that fried child. Anyway, he cruised through the first half of it in 25 minutes. The next uncomfortable fourth was gone within fifteen minutes. Then came the grueling last fourth of the Giant, in between bites, us shuttling between the beverage fountain supplying our competitor with water. But that final damn fourth was a feat of will and concentration, and I have to give it to our gastronomic warrior: he gave it his all; however, it was apparent to all in attendence (including some curious onlookers from the BTB kitchen who whipped out their camera phones) that our man Aghogho wasn't doing too well.
He got down to the last few bites, where every swallow was preceeded with 10 minutes of some of the most painful digesting you'll ever see. Aghogho had one last bite before him and upon staring it down, his cheeks puffed like he was playing an imaginary saxophone. I got out of my seat, turned my back and heard "SPLAT!" It was all over...Aghogho would not be crowned Chimmi-champion on this night. Instead of a trophy (or more important, free Churros for his friends...) all that sat before Aghogho was a pool of fried vomit. Yech! Anyway, we had fun (until we found out we had to clean it up) and comforted Aghogho who sat in disbelief. Truly one of the best nights of college to date...if not the best. Never before has someone puking been so entertaining.

He says he wants to try to attempt the feat again. This time, we'll be ready...with those airplane vomit bags.

PS
I have a few pictures of Aghogho sitting in his own vomit, but due to reader demand, I opted not to post it. They are amazing photos though and if you want to see 'em, just ask.

Happy Easter!

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Big Tuesday

So, my birthday extravaganza was a delight...after the first hour in which my grandmother drilled me for inconsequential details of the processes of my life and my stepmother put on cry face because my father lost patience with my grandmother's berage of questions, concerns, and worries. I did drink 3 glasses of wine in public on my birthday and had a delicious dinner with crab cakes, seared sea scallops, and port. The coolest gift I got? My grandfather's World War II dog tags...I can't wear them, but they are really neat to have.

Anyway, today I got up and went to class, which was a bore...par for the course. My curly-haired confidant Amy Butler called me and asked me to dinner...which got me excited- Hey! It's been a while since a girl wanted to go to dinner with me! Anyway, after an afternoon screening, I took a shower, shaved, cologned, and fiddled with my hair (we're just friends, but a guy still likes to look good in public with a pretty lady.) We met at West Quad and walked over to Noodles & Co. I knew something was fishy when (actually, I knew something was fishy when she asked me out) she insisted we check for seating upstairs prior to ordering at the counter....This would have been fine for a party of 15, but it was just us two...or so I thought. We order at the counter and head to the upstairs seating area where 8 of my friends smiled and shouted "Surprise!"

It was the first surprise party my life's ever seen and I must say, it was a delight. A few scragglers joined us (Cameron and Liza came late) as we talked about the guy I saw wearing capris today, "almost" relationships (apparently there's such a thing), and my impending engagement to Amy...who said she'd marry me if I could produce a Tiffany's diamond engagement ring...don't get me wrong, she doens't WANT to marry me, but would still like for me to buy her a Tiffany's diamond ring. Typical girl.

After dinner, I helped a friend out by participating in a disscussion about campus diversity. I think I have a solid idea on rennovating the idea of affirmative action, ask me if you're curious, I think its a compelling solution.

Then, I went to play broomball against the other half of Southwest. We lost 3-0...IM sports hasn't been kind in the year 2008...

Whew, what a Tuesday...